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- Adv. Anonymous

This is a newly started series of articles which will revolve around the events and life of an advocate, which will include few light-hearted satirical articles and others on the actual problems faced in the legal system and society.


This blog is only for purpose of satire (not that it lacks in life of an advocate) and for harmless humor.             

    Don’t put in high hopes or get misguided by the title. I will not be sharing any courtroom drama or comical exchanges happening in the real courts nor would I be sharing any secrets to becoming a successful lawyer. (there can be only one Mr. Jethmalani)

disclaimer :-

this article is work of pure fiction and 
any resemblance to real life or living 
person is mere COINCIDENTAL. 
  And just to make it clear from this very instance, NO, irl we do not shout ‘Tarikh pe Tarikh’ in courts, coz that’s not how hearings in the Indian courts work, for the matter of fact nowhere around the world such things happen. 

   Even if we tried to be the lawyer, the actor portrayed in the said movie, we would definitely get our advocate license suspended (I guess not, that would be too harsh). But, surely the judge would give us an earful, enough to last for a lifetime and not to forget, not being able to show our faces in that court ever again due to the utter embarrassment and the fool we would have made out of ourselves. So enough for the fiction, let’s get back to the reality.

   Advocates are the officers of the court and the protector of justice (sounds like tagline of Avengers or GOT), at least that’s what we have been taught in law school. But then you are not supposed to believe in everything you are told, coz hearsay evidence do not hold in the courts (that ones for my advocate friends).

    On a serious note, we always try to protect justice in the court, only when we get our favorable dates.

   We spend sleepless days and nights preparing the clients’ brief, obviously when the client has paid our fees in full. How else do you suppose we’d be able to pay for the 24 hrs unlimited internet connection and the best quality legal papers to be submitted in the court (which eventually will be rotting in a corner of the court for years, ‘so much for sustainable development’).

    We travel from one court to another, sometimes up to five courts in a single day, from one end of the city to the other, which includes five different junior advocates being sent to those five courts (you do not expect us to go to a court just to take a date, we have better and important things to tend in the office with centralized A.C. and 20 staff doing ….).

   And not to forget the man hours we put behind the client meetings, are so extensive and exasperating. To explain a client the legal intricacy and legitimate obscurity (both terms means the same by the way) is not an easy task.

   By the way, it’s not a child’s play to remember and keep revising a 10 minutes argument and still not getting the date to argue (favorable to the judge and to me at the same time), for months.

  Being an advocate is easy said than done. Studying non-stop for 5 years just to get 40 out of 100 (coz it doesn’t matter even if you are a college topper, you might end up at the bottom of the barrel) is a feet to achieve.

   As law students, we are inculcated with the important qualities needed to become an advocate, if not successful then at least doable.

    Like quality of decision making whilst contemplating how to make sure 80% attendance in law school to be eligible to give the exams, when you clearly know what really matters is an internship under another advocate for practical exposure, is a dilemma of another level altogether.

    Spending thousands of rupees on authors’ textbooks for classroom study and as per teacher’s recommendation and eventually realizing that reading guides like Mokal and Jhabvala, one day prior to the exams are enough to clear them, are the first kind of defeat you accept gracefully.

    And then comes the struggle of coming from a non-legal family (ya.. nepotism exists here too, but that is a topic of discussion for another day) which stares in your face from day one of law school. 

   Seeing those belonging (legal background) knowing what ‘Nemo judex in causa sua’ means and you still trying to figure out the complete meaning and definition of law is the zeher ka kadva ghut joh haste haste peena padta hai (used for that extra dramatic touch).

    Running behind Advocates and Solicitors as an intern carrying briefs, Acts and textbooks (which might not be even needed in the court) not only takes care of your brains but your weight training too.

    But then the struggle and the lessons do not end there. Working as a junior advocate under a senior advocate for a year but not being able to open (let reading set aside) a single brief during that period helps to wipe out the word ‘zero tolerance’ from your dictionary.

   Where should I start about the free loaders. Taking advice from ten different lawyers (for free stating the same old money issues, which you can easily gauge by talking to them, is definitely a lie) and then engaging an advocate who you can find outside the courts making affidavits for Rs. 500/-.

    And not to forget about our non-legal buddies. You can never make them understand enough that not all advocates can advise you on criminal matters, some handle civil matters only and then being questioned ‘kaisa lawyer hai be tu’. (You can’t go to a software engineer to make bridges or a cardiologist for cosmetic surgery, can you?)

    All said and done, but the happiness of winning that one case which you have given all your efforts to and knowing that you have done right to someone is enough at the end of the day.

Everything in this article is fictional. Fictional because reality is bitter to be told or accepted.

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