Communication is my advice for somebody considering getting married. I actually believe that communication is important if you are thinking about taking the relationship to the next level and moving in together.
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Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash |
Communication is my advice for
somebody considering getting married. I actually believe that communication is
important if you are thinking about taking the relationship to the next level
and moving in together.
I know a lot of people have prenuptial
agreements, I think they are great; but in young marriages or marriages where
the parties don’t have a ton of money, it may not be necessary.
What I do believe is necessary is
determining what the expectation of each of the parties are, determining what
the deal if you will is.
Every relationship has a contract, and
when you enter into a marriage contract, you are being governed by the state
where you live and even if it’s an easy divorce, when you go through a divorce, you have to file paper
work and pay fees, and fill out forms; that means that getting into this should
be a little more difficult.
- You should discuss, Do we want to have kids?
- What religion is our family going to be?
- How much are we going to put away for savings?
- Are you going to continue working after we have kids?
- Are we going on a family vacation every year?
- If my mom turns 80 and has a stroke can she come live in our back house?
Obviously, you can address every
single thing that’s going to happen every single course of your hopefully very
long marriage, but there are certain things, particularly financial things,
that is not very sexy or romantic to discuss but I highly advised having this conversation
with either a priest or a rabi or a good friend, somebody that you both respect
that’s had a little life experience, a mental health professional again and
maybe taking some notes and jotting things down.
There will be times in your relationship when you will have to renegotiate the terms, things have changed,
one of us is working more now, one of us is making more money, we‘re buying a
home; my mother did end up coming to live with us.
Things need to be discussed and you
need to have good communication about what the deal points are even if it may
not sound like the most romantic, it will save your relationship time and time
again, and if you start doing it before you get married, it will be easier to
do throughout the course of your marriage which will hopefully last a very long
time.
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